Saturday, May 5, 2012

Excerpt from The Falcon Prince

The second day, May 5th:  Post your favorite excerpt (300-350 words)
This awesome blog hop is hosted by Cortney Pearson and Theresa Paolo.
 

The Falcon Prince:

Kaitlyn turned around and gasped in shock. She realized she hadn’t backed into a tree after all but a man. A gorgeous man.
“However, she won’t be going anywhere with you.” The man stepped in front of Kaitlyn to shield her from the attackers. His stance was aristocratic and radiated power. He was tall, with a svelte body. Skin the color of rich latte. The wind shirred dark chocolate hair over his broad shoulders and black leather duster. He was a fascinating mix of rugged and refined. The man flashed her a mischievous grin.
Even with three dangerous men threateningly close, she couldn’t look away from him. He stood in front of the men and rubbed a hand over his a well-trimmed mustache and goatee, placing a finger at his lips contemplatively. He waited for their next move.
Something told her if she had any chance of getting away from this mess alive; it would be with this stranger.
Vincent's hissed with anger. “I found her first, and by Lord Cyrus’ command, I will take her.”
“He will just have to be sorely disappointed then, I’m afraid.”
“How dare you!” Vincent pounced to attack.
“How dare you show a face like that in public,” the handsome man retorted.
Vincent jumped into the air with a furious yell. He transformed in lightning speed. His wings outstretched, and his raised talons gleamed in the light. The man in front of her was gone. In his place was a beautiful falcon soared on broad wings.

38 comments:

  1. Ooo... love the dark vibe. Great intensity too! :D

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  2. Wow, this was an awesome scene, very tense, and a mega hot guy? You can't beat that!

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  3. Excellent work! I was gripped!

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    1. Woo hoo. That is the best kind of compliment.

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  4. Replies
    1. Thanks, I like your writing style too, and your artwork is gorgeous!

      Andrea

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  5. Gosh, this is so good! Can't wait for you to send me a couple of chapters! Yay, I'll be reading this hehe

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    1. Thanks Juliana, I hope those chapters won't let you down.

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    1. I thought yours was interesting too!

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  7. Wow he's hot! Your descriptions are perfect, I didn't even need the picture to visualize that exact man. Nicely done.

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    1. That is really good to hear, thanks Theresa!

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  8. Loved it!! And Vincent :) "His voice was deep and rich like black coffee. It called to mind desert sands and exotic spices." Yes, please! Great job - I'd love to find out what happens next. And excellent use of visual aids :)

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    1. Thanks! It was hard picking the exact excerpt with the word limit because I couldn't include a lot of what happened beforehand when Kaitlyn faces the shape-shifting grackles led by Vincent. But my fav moment so far is this one :)

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  9. "The wind shirred dark chocolate hair over his broad shoulders and black leather duster. He was a fascinating mix of rugged and refined."

    LOVE IT. What an artfully done description. I cannot wait to read more, more, more! :)

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    1. Yay!!!!! woot! More you shall have, once I hunker down and finish some more editing. I'm not giving up on my baby :)

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  10. It is very interesting. I want to read the full story. Is it a novel? You are an amazing writer.

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    1. Yes, well, sorta. It is a novella. Thank you for the very kind words. I hope that I can finish this so someday you can read the full story.

      Andrea

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  11. awesome! shapeshifting! love it!

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    1. Much appreciated, thanks. I love shape shifting too.

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  12. This was great--loved your writing. Felt like I was there. Good job.

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  13. That was amazing! Great tension and imagery.

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  14. Gotta love a tall, handsome stranger coming to the rescue!

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    1. hehehe, oh yeah. Can't be the classic!

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  15. "She realized she hadn’t backed into a tree after all but a man. A gorgeous man."

    That's my favorite line. It made me laugh.

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  16. I think my favorite was "How dare you show a face like that in public." But it's all wonderful!

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    1. haha, yeah. I love a guy with a dashing sense of humor! :)

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    1. Loved the descriptions and dialogue, and the tension had me on edge the whole time. I couldn't wait for one to make the first move. And seriously, bird shape-shifters? How can I be part of this world?

      (Sorry for posting this multiple times if it does. Blogger keeps eating it saying something about a connection being lost.)

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    2. no problem, sorry blogger was being pooey on you. Thank you for the lovely comments! So glad you liked it :)

      Andrea

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