I am going to write today

As I drove to work this morning, I felt a sense of excitement. I am going to write today. The morning sun poured golden light on houses, brick buildings, and cars. I saw the flowering trees, dandelion fields and dewy grass just waking up. Morning is a magical time, when the world is fresh and new. The whole day is ahead of you and anything is possible. There is energy to it, like a river that I want to channel into all of my hopes and goals of the day.

When I sit down, I wonder what I am going to write. A tingling of fear and excitement creeps up, and I wonder if nothing will come out of me, but I am also excited to see what does. I should stop thinking that nothing will come. We are each deep, vast wells of memories, emotions, wonder and truths. Like the pregnant morning, we too are full of possibilities. Our wells are bottomless.

Sometimes writing reminds me of being on the swim team in high school. I would wake up at 5 AM to swim before school started, then swim again after school every day.  Practice is a good thing, we don’t expect someone who doesn’t swim often to just jump in the water and win a 300 meter race. We know it takes time, practice and dedication.

Like writing, swimming is a very singular activity. It is just you and the water; your body and breath, and the clear blue. My muscles screamed and ached, but they got stronger.  I was proud to flex my arms or my thighs and see a bulge of muscle there. With practice my swimming improved, but more importantly it made me feel strong.

When we sit down to write we shouldn’t expect to write pure gold, or perfect prose, it is more of a process of discovery. It is allowing what is inside of us to come out. When you are in the writing zone, you aren’t even aware of your own presence. You are no longer there, there is just the writing. I felt it when I was a swimmer, and I feel it too when I am writing. It is truly living in the moment, lost to it, and being one with it. If I could sit down one morning and write everlastingly, letting myself go into the words forever, I think I could become the flowing river, I could be the morning sun.

I want to write every day.