School started last week. I really feel like I have no friends, but it's getting better. The more I talk to people the better things become. I can think of almost all my classes were I can talk to someone. I now sit with Nathan's friends at lunch (they just play dungeons and dragons and stuff).
Oh, one guy I used to know from 6th grade has excel home room and lunch with me. Since I talked with him he follows me to class and kind of acts real interested. I would like him as a friend but I don't want him to try anything. I kind of have my heart set on Ryan. I've been doing a lot of thinking about him lately. Even though I still don't feel good enough for him I can't keep being impervious to the cute things he does. Like last year he followed me to the mail box, and lately he's been always compliementing me, walking with me to the car and stuff. He opens the door for me. How can I be so indifferent? It's driving me nuts. I think (I know) I have a crush. I don't know what to do. Should I jump? Should I still remain indifferent? I must let him know somehow but I dont want to be let down or teased by other people. Why does he llike me? I hate having a crush because I long for him to stop by and visit. I even leave the window open all the time to hear if he's coming. I look for his bike or car at our house, and I walk by his house sometimes to see if he's there.
Once he came up stairs to say, "hi." I loved that (though I still acted as a friend). Now the next time I'm going to react with the same interest as he does to me. I talk to him a lot and show him subtle signs but now I'm going to be more prominent. Let's hope I don't act giddy, or stupid.
Did you have a high school crush?